My brain says no but my pants say off.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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