brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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