We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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