oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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