She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
