Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
