I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
