The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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