Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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