I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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