she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need a burrito and a hug.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sorry about my life...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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