Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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