He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
