I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Alive.
So much puke
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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