you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
