plz talk dirty to me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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