Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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