Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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