it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
