she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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