i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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