I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize