she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
