have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
