Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize