butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
