Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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