OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize