Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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