Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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