I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
