please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
