when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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