Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
