The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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