DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
