Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
