ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
