I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize