Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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