Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
