Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
where am i from again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
