My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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