She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
