i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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