We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
