he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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