How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
