Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
