Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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