So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
