One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
