I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
