I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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