dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
