4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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