hotel room ftw
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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