you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
