woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize