i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
