Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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