And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
