Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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