After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
