Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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