Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Two words: blizzard sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize