Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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