I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
