Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
