i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
