I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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